11 Science-Backed Ways to Make Love Grow in Your Relationship

Whether you’re starting something new or have weathered years together, keeping love vibrant in a relationship takes conscious effort. While routine and comfort are natural over time, experts agree that actively nurturing love is key to a happy, lasting bond. Drawing from psychological research and the advice of relationship specialists, here are 11 science- and expert-backed habits that help partners grow closer and maintain the joy of being in love.

Why Nurturing Love Matters

All couples experience ebbs and flows in connection. Responsibilities, work, and even familiarity can cause feelings of distance. However, science shows that intentional efforts to bridge those gaps can re-ignite intimacy and trust. According to Jonathan Bennett, a relationship and dating expert, “Many couples get into set routines and the relationship turns stale and predictable. It’s always possible to increase your bond with your partner, and there are many ways you can accomplish it.”

  • Active bonding habits are effective at any stage of a relationship.
  • Small acts can reverse feelings of disconnection or dissatisfaction.
  • Even the decision to invest in your relationship is an important first step.

1. Cuddle More Often

Physical intimacy goes far beyond sexual activity. Cuddling boosts oxytocin—the “bonding hormone”—which physiologically enhances trust, lowers stress, and increases generosity between partners. Even a simple hug or holding hands can establish a sense of safety and attachment.

  • Oxytocin released during cuddling fosters closeness and security.
  • Cuddling can reduce anxiety and improve communication.
  • Make weekly time for nonsexual physical closeness, like snuggling on the couch.

2. Make Eye Contact

Looking into your partner’s eyes isn’t just the stuff of romance novels—intentional eye contact can increase feelings of love and passion. Research consistently demonstrates that couples who regularly make eye contact feel more emotionally connected.

  • Increases empathy and mutual understanding.
  • Brief daily practice (e.g., 30 seconds of uninterrupted gazing) can have powerful effects.
  • Try making eye contact while expressing gratitude or positive feelings for amplified impact.

3. Have New Experiences Together

Boredom is the enemy of romantic relationships. Doing new and exciting things with your partner primes your brain to associate those positive feelings with your loved one. Novelty, even on a small scale, increases relationship satisfaction.

  • Examples include trying a new sport, exploring a new restaurant, or taking a class.
  • Even a walk in an unfamiliar neighborhood can refresh your shared experiences.
  • Challenging activities strengthen your sense of partnership.

4. Express Love & Appreciation

It’s easy for daily gratitude to go unsaid. However, regularly expressing appreciation prevents partners from feeling taken for granted. Both verbal and nonverbal gestures—compliments, small gifts, loving notes—reinforce affection and value.

  • Practice spontaneous acts of kindness, like making your partner’s favorite drink.
  • Sincerely thank your partner for specific things (“Thank you for listening when I was stressed”) to strengthen emotional bonds.
  • Positive reinforcement fosters a lasting sense of joy.

5. Keep Asking Questions

Curiosity shouldn’t end after the early dating stage. Continue learning about your partner’s dreams, fears, and interests. People change over time, and asking questions shows you care about who your partner is now—not just who they were.

  • Schedule “check-in” conversations to explore hopes, worries, or goals.
  • Explore topics beyond the mundane: childhood memories, future plans, or “what if” scenarios.
  • Listening closely is as important as asking questions.

6. Hang Out More Often

Quality time is one of love’s most important building blocks. Spending time together—just the two of you—nourishes intimacy. Couples who regularly make space for each other outside daily obligations report stronger connection and higher satisfaction.

  • Create rituals (movie night, Sunday walks) that are exclusively yours.
  • Put away phones and distractions for truly focused time together.
  • Incorporate both fun activities and quiet moments.

7. Solve Problems Together

Adversity can drive couples apart—or, if approached collaboratively, pull them closer. Tackling challenges as a unified team increases relationship resilience and fosters a sense of accomplishment.

  • Encourage open discussions and listen to each other’s ideas when problems arise.
  • Celebrate when you overcome challenges together, big or small.
  • Share responsibilities rather than one person taking on burdens alone.

8. Practice Forgiveness and Let Go of Grudges

Inevitably, all partners experience hurt or disagreement. The key is not to avoid conflict, but to forgive and move forward rather than holding onto resentments. Long-term couples thrive when they choose compassion and let go of the “scorecard.”

  • Address disputes as they arise rather than bottling them up.
  • Accept apologies, and avoid bringing up past wrongs in new arguments.
  • Letting go frees up emotional energy for love and connection.

9. Celebrate Each Other’s Victories

Supporting your partner’s goals—both big and small—strengthens mutual respect. Celebrate promotions, personal milestones, or achieved personal goals together. Your enthusiasm for your partner’s success fosters goodwill and motivation on both sides.

  • Plan a special meal or give a heartfelt card when your partner accomplishes something meaningful.
  • Cheer each other on publicly and privately.
  • Share in the joy of each other’s achievements as a team.

10. Maintain Shared Rituals and Traditions

Repeated behaviors—whether it’s a morning coffee together or an annual trip—help anchor couples during change. Shared rituals provide steady moments of bonding that reinforce your partnership.

  • Develop routines that are meaningful and consistent: weekly date night, holiday traditions, or nightly gratitude rituals.
  • Allow traditions to evolve as your relationship grows.
  • Use rituals as an opportunity to reconnect, especially after periods of stress or distance.

11. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Trust flourishes when both partners feel seen and heard. Honest, vulnerable dialogue forms the backbone of a resilient relationship. Make a habit of sharing feelings, needs, and dreams—even when it feels a little uncomfortable.

  • Encourage your partner to share openly by being a nonjudgmental listener.
  • Admit mistakes and fears; honesty breeds security.
  • Seek feedback and clarify misunderstandings early before they grow.

Relationship Growth Habits at a Glance

Habit Key Benefit Sample Action
Cuddle More Often Boosts oxytocin & trust Snuggle while watching TV
Make Eye Contact Enhances emotional connection 30 seconds of silent gazing
New Experiences Breaks monotony, increases excitement Try a dance class together
Express Appreciation Prevents complacency Leave a surprise note
Ask Questions Deepens understanding Ask about hidden dreams
Hang Out More Builds intimacy Unplugged dinner dates
Solve Problems Together Builds unity Team up on a home project
Practice Forgiveness Reduces resentment Address and resolve issues
Celebrate Victories Supports personal growth Toast to achievements
Share Rituals Provides consistency Weekly Sunday brunch
Communicate Openly Builds trust & security Regular check-in talks

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Why do relationships sometimes feel stale over time?

A: Familiarity and routine can reduce novelty and excitement, making partners feel less connected. Actively nurturing love through new experiences, appreciation, and direct communication can restore intimacy.

Q: How important is physical touch for relationship satisfaction?

A: Physical touch releases oxytocin, supporting emotional bonding, relaxation, and trust. Simple acts like cuddling or holding hands powerfully contribute to a sense of safety and connection.

Q: What are some easy ways to show appreciation in daily life?

A: Compliments, thank-you notes, making your partner’s favorite snack, small gifts, and verbal acknowledgments all help your partner feel valued and loved.

Q: Should couples try to avoid all conflicts?

A: No. Healthy conflict and problem-solving as a team make relationships more resilient. Addressing disagreements with empathy, rather than avoiding them, leads to a deeper sense of partnership and trust.

Q: How can couples keep learning about each other after years together?

A: Make time to ask open-ended questions about hopes, current experiences, or new interests, and listen actively. People change over time, so staying curious is essential for long-term intimacy.

Final Thoughts

Lasting love is built on intentional, daily habits—not grand gestures alone. Every couple can benefit from small, evidence-based actions that nurture connection, communication, and shared joy. By integrating these 11 habits, partners can not only rescue a relationship from stagnancy, but also cultivate a bond that grows stronger through every season.