The journey toward parenthood represents one of life’s most transformative experiences. Before your world beautifully shifts to accommodate late-night feedings, diaper changes, and the overwhelming love that comes with a newborn, there exists a precious window of time that deserves intentional attention. This period before becoming parents offers couples a unique opportunity to strengthen their bond, create lasting memories, and prepare themselves emotionally and practically for the adventure ahead.
Many couples find themselves caught up in the practical preparations of pregnancy—setting up the nursery, buying baby gear, and attending prenatal appointments—while overlooking the equally important emotional and relational groundwork. The transition to parenthood will test your relationship in ways you cannot fully anticipate, making it essential to invest in your connection now. Understanding what to prioritize during this time can make all the difference in how you navigate the challenges and joys of raising a child together.
Communicate About Parenting Philosophy and Expectations
Before your baby arrives, establishing clear communication about parenting becomes absolutely critical. This goes far beyond simply agreeing that you both want children. You need to dive deep into the specifics of how you envision raising your child, what values you want to instill, and how you’ll handle the countless decisions that come with parenthood.
Start by discussing your own upbringings and how they’ve shaped your views on parenting. Talk about discipline styles, educational priorities, religious or spiritual guidance, and family traditions you want to continue or create. These conversations should happen regularly, not just once, as your perspectives may evolve during pregnancy. Inject children into your everyday conversations, discussing how you’d handle various scenarios or what kind of parents you want to become.
Don’t shy away from the difficult topics either. Discuss your fears about parenthood, concerns about losing your identity, worries about financial strain, and anxieties about how your relationship might change. Creating this foundation of open communication will serve you immensely when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed with a crying newborn.
Travel Together Extensively
If there’s one thing that becomes exponentially more complicated after having a baby, it’s travel. The spontaneity of booking a last-minute weekend getaway or embarking on an international adventure becomes a distant memory once you’re juggling nap schedules, diaper bags, and the logistics of traveling with an infant.
Take full advantage of your current mobility and freedom. Plan that dream vacation you’ve been postponing—whether it’s backpacking through Europe, lounging on a tropical beach, or exploring ancient ruins. Consider a babymoon, which has become increasingly popular among expectant parents. This doesn’t need to be an extravagant trip; even a weekend at a nearby luxury hotel or a road trip to a national park can provide the quality time and relaxation you both need.
Travel creates shared experiences that strengthen your bond and gives you stories to reminisce about during those challenging early parenting days. Book trips less than two months in advance to maintain that sense of spontaneity. Visit destinations that might not be baby-friendly for several years. Embrace the adventure while you can travel light and focus solely on each other.
Prioritize Quality Sleep
Every parent will tell you the same thing: sleep will never be the same after having a baby. The luxury of sleeping in on weekends, taking afternoon naps without guilt, or simply getting eight uninterrupted hours of rest becomes a fond memory once your newborn arrives.
Make sleep a priority now. Allow yourself to sleep in as often as possible without setting an alarm. Listen to your body’s natural rhythms and rest when you feel tired. Create a peaceful sleep environment and establish healthy sleep habits that you can try to maintain even after the baby comes. Some couples even joke about “banking” sleep before the baby arrives, and while that’s not scientifically possible, getting well-rested now will help you face the inevitable sleep deprivation with more resilience.
Use this time to also educate yourselves about infant sleep patterns and develop a plan for how you’ll handle nighttime duties. Will you take turns? Will one person handle most night wakings if the other has work commitments? Having these discussions now, while you’re well-rested and thinking clearly, prevents resentment and arguments later.
Strengthen Your Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy undergoes significant changes during pregnancy and after childbirth. Hormonal fluctuations, physical discomfort, exhaustion, and the demands of caring for a newborn can all impact your sex life in ways you might not anticipate. This makes it crucial to nurture your physical connection before the baby arrives.
Maintain an active intimate life throughout pregnancy as long as your healthcare provider gives the green light. This isn’t just about frequency—it’s about maintaining that emotional and physical connection that brought you together. Explore different ways to be intimate that accommodate pregnancy changes. Focus on non-sexual physical affection as well, like cuddling, massage, and simply holding each other.
Remember that your physical relationship will evolve after birth, requiring patience, understanding, and open communication. Building a strong foundation of intimacy now, along with discussing expectations for the postpartum period, will help you navigate those changes together as a team.
Enjoy Spontaneous Date Nights
The days of deciding on a whim to try that new restaurant downtown or catching a late movie will soon require extensive planning, reliable babysitters, and often result in one or both of you being too exhausted to enjoy it. Make the most of your current freedom to be spontaneous.
Schedule regular date nights, but also embrace the unplanned ones. Stay out late with friends enjoying adult beverages and conversations. Linger over romantic dinners without worrying about getting home to relieve a babysitter. Visit that 5-star restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. Attend theater performances, concerts, or shows that might not be possible for years once the baby arrives.
These experiences aren’t just about having fun—they’re investments in your relationship. They remind you why you fell in love and help you maintain your identity as a couple, not just as future parents. Create memories that will sustain you through the difficult early months of parenthood.
Pursue Individual Hobbies and Interests
While focusing on couple activities is important, don’t neglect your individual passions and hobbies. Your personal identity doesn’t disappear when you become a parent, though it will certainly be challenged. Investing time in activities that fulfill you individually now will help you maintain a sense of self after the baby arrives.
If you love reading, devour books that have been on your list. If you’re into fitness, train for that marathon or master that challenging yoga pose. Work on creative projects, pursue educational interests, or simply spend time doing things that bring you personal joy. This isn’t selfish—it’s essential self-care that will make you a better partner and parent.
Encourage your partner to do the same. Support each other’s individual pursuits and understand that maintaining separate identities strengthens your relationship rather than weakening it. After the baby comes, you’ll need to be even more intentional about carving out time for personal interests, so establishing that pattern now creates a healthy foundation.
Experience Adrenaline-Pumping Adventures
For those who crave excitement and adventure, now is the time to check those thrilling experiences off your bucket list. Once you’re responsible for a tiny human, your risk tolerance naturally shifts, and activities like skydiving, bungee jumping, or swimming with sharks might feel less appealing or responsible.
Book that helicopter tour, go rock climbing, try surfing, or take a hot air balloon ride. These adrenaline-pumping experiences create powerful memories and remind you that you’re alive and capable of amazing things. Even if you’re not an extreme adventure seeker, consider trying something that pushes you slightly out of your comfort zone—maybe couples’ acro-yoga, zip-lining through a forest, or learning to scuba dive.
These adventures serve another purpose beyond the thrill: they require trust, communication, and teamwork. Navigating new and sometimes scary experiences together strengthens your bond and builds confidence in your ability to face challenges as a team—skills you’ll definitely need as new parents.
Establish Financial Stability and Planning
While not the most romantic topic, financial preparation is one of the most practical and important things you can do before having a baby. Children are expensive, and financial stress is a leading cause of relationship conflict. Take time now to get your finances in order and create a realistic budget for life with a baby.
Review your current expenses and identify areas where you can cut back to accommodate baby-related costs. Research the true cost of raising a child in your area, including healthcare, childcare, diapers, formula or breastfeeding supplies, and baby gear. Create an emergency fund if you don’t already have one, aiming for at least three to six months of expenses.
Discuss career plans and how childcare responsibilities will be divided. Will one parent stay home? Will you both continue working? How will that impact your income and career trajectories? Review insurance policies, update beneficiaries, and consider life insurance if you don’t have adequate coverage. These conversations aren’t fun, but they’re necessary for reducing stress and conflict later.
Strengthen Your Support Network
Raising a child truly takes a village, and building that village before your baby arrives will make the transition to parenthood much smoother. Identify who in your life can provide different types of support—emotional, practical, and informational—and nurture those relationships now.
If your friend group doesn’t include many parents, consider joining parenting groups or prenatal classes where you can connect with other expectant couples. These relationships provide invaluable support, advice, and commiseration as you navigate the challenges of new parenthood together. Online communities can also be helpful, but in-person connections offer practical support like meal trains, babysitting exchanges, and playdates once your baby is older.
Don’t forget about your relationship with your own parents and in-laws. If they’ll be involved in your child’s life, work on strengthening those relationships now. Discuss expectations about boundaries, grandparent involvement, and parenting decisions to avoid conflicts later. If family relationships are complicated, consider how you’ll manage those dynamics with a baby in the picture.
Focus on Your Physical Health and Fitness
Pregnancy and childbirth demand a lot from your body, making physical fitness an important priority during this time. Exercise during pregnancy is not only safe for most women but highly encouraged, offering benefits like reduced pregnancy discomfort, easier labor, and faster postpartum recovery.
Work out together as a couple to make it a bonding activity. Join a gym and lift weights together, take prenatal yoga or pilates classes, try Zumba or spin classes, or simply go for daily walks together. Regular exercise helps you both feel good physically and mentally while providing quality time together. It also establishes healthy habits that you can try to maintain after the baby arrives, even if in modified form.
Beyond structured exercise, focus on overall wellness. Eat nutritious meals together, stay hydrated, get adequate rest, and manage stress through meditation, yoga, or other relaxation techniques. Taking care of your physical health now will help you handle the physical demands of caring for a newborn.
Complete Practical Preparations
While this article focuses heavily on relationship and personal preparations, you can’t ignore the practical necessities of welcoming a baby. However, try to complete these tasks without letting them consume all your time and energy before the baby arrives.
Set up the nursery or your baby’s sleeping space, whether that’s a dedicated room or a corner of your bedroom. Baby-proof your home by covering outlets, securing furniture, and removing hazards. Stock up on essential baby supplies like diapers, wipes, and basic clothing. Create a feeding plan, whether you’re breastfeeding, formula-feeding, or combining both, and gather necessary supplies like bottles, a breast pump, or nursing pillows.
Pack your hospital bag well before your due date, attend childbirth classes to prepare for labor, and create a birth plan that outlines your preferences while remaining flexible. Research pediatricians and schedule the baby’s first appointment. Take care of practical matters like updating your will, designating guardians, and setting up a college savings account. These tasks are important but shouldn’t overshadow the relationship and self-care priorities discussed earlier.
Pamper Yourselves
Pregnancy takes a toll on the body, and the stress of preparing for a baby affects both partners mentally and emotionally. Making time to pamper yourselves isn’t frivolous—it’s essential self-care that will help you face parenthood feeling refreshed rather than depleted.
Schedule a pregnancy massage to ease those aches and pains, get a pedicure when you can no longer reach your toes, take relaxing baths with soothing music and candles, or simply allow yourself guilt-free naps. Both partners deserve pampering, so don’t limit this to just the pregnant person. Maybe the non-pregnant partner needs a massage too, or would benefit from a spa day or other relaxing activity.
Glam it up even if you’re not feeling your best. In those final months of pregnancy when you’re swollen and tired, find an excuse to get dressed up and experience a beautiful evening together. Attend a formal event, book that fancy restaurant, or simply put on nice clothes and take professional photos together. These moments of feeling special and cared for boost your mood and give you confidence heading into the challenging postpartum period.
Create and Preserve Memories
This chapter of your life as a couple without children is coming to an end, and while exciting new chapters await, taking time to document and celebrate this period is important. Create memories intentionally and find ways to preserve them for the future.
Take photos together throughout pregnancy, capturing how your body changes and your excitement grows. Consider hiring a professional photographer for a maternity shoot or simply take regular photos with your phone. Start a journal documenting your thoughts, fears, excitement, and experiences during this time. Years from now, you’ll treasure these records of this transformative period.
Create traditions that are just for the two of you before the baby comes. Maybe it’s Sunday morning breakfast in bed, weekly movie nights, or monthly adventures to new places. While some traditions may continue after the baby arrives, others will naturally fade, making it important to fully experience and appreciate them now. Talk about your favorite memories together and what you’re most excited about for the future.
Rest and Recharge
In the midst of all this preparation and activity, don’t forget the simple act of resting. New parents experience exhaustion on a level that’s difficult to comprehend beforehand, making it essential to enter parenthood as rested and recharged as possible.
Waste entire days together doing nothing productive. Sleep in, stay in bed watching movies, order takeout, and simply enjoy being lazy without guilt. Read books, play video games, binge-watch shows that definitely aren’t kid-friendly, and generally embrace the quiet and peace in your home. This isn’t laziness—it’s necessary preparation for the intensity ahead.
Give yourself permission to decline social obligations, skip events that don’t excite you, and generally protect your time and energy. The pressure to do everything and see everyone before the baby comes can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to say yes to everything. Prioritize rest and activities that genuinely recharge you rather than drain you.
Deepen Your Emotional Connection
Beyond all the practical preparations and fun activities, the most important thing you can do before having a baby is deepen your emotional connection with your partner. This foundation of love, trust, and understanding will carry you through the challenges of new parenthood and help you emerge as a stronger couple.
Have vulnerable conversations about your fears, hopes, and dreams. Share your anxieties about becoming parents and support each other through those worries. Discuss how you want your relationship to evolve and what you need from each other once the baby arrives. Practice the communication and conflict resolution skills you’ll need when you’re sleep-deprived and stressed.
Express appreciation for your partner regularly. Notice the small things they do, verbalize your gratitude, and make sure they know how much you value them. This habit of appreciation becomes even more important after the baby comes, when it’s easy to take each other for granted or focus only on what’s not getting done. Build the practice now of seeing and acknowledging each other’s efforts.
Embrace the Present Moment
With all this focus on preparation for the future, it’s easy to forget to simply be present in the now. This moment—before your baby arrives—is precious and fleeting. While it’s important to prepare, don’t let preparation consume these final months or weeks of being just the two of you.
Practice mindfulness and presence in your daily life. When you’re having dinner together, put away your phones and really engage with each other. When you’re on that babymoon, resist the urge to document every moment for social media and instead fully experience it. When you’re feeling your baby move, take a moment to appreciate the miracle of what’s happening rather than rushing on to the next task.
Remind yourself regularly that you’re in a special time of transition. Yes, life will change dramatically once the baby arrives, but that doesn’t mean this current phase is any less valuable or meaningful. Honor where you are right now, even as you prepare for where you’re going. This ability to be present will serve you well as a parent, when time seems to fly by and children grow faster than you can believe.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How early should we start doing these activities before the baby arrives?
A: Ideally, begin these preparations and activities as soon as you know you’re expecting or even before trying to conceive. However, it’s never too late to start. Even in the final weeks of pregnancy, you can still prioritize quality time together, have important conversations, and complete practical preparations. Focus on what’s most important to your relationship and circumstances.
Q: What if we can’t afford expensive trips or activities before the baby?
A: Many meaningful pre-baby activities cost little or nothing. Having deep conversations, sleeping in, taking walks together, enjoying free local attractions, having picnics, and spending quality time at home are all valuable ways to connect without spending money. Focus on the quality of time together rather than how much you spend. Even a staycation or day trip can provide the connection and memories you need.
Q: How do we balance preparing for the baby with enjoying our time together?
A: Set boundaries around baby preparation time to prevent it from consuming your entire life. Designate specific times for practical tasks like setting up the nursery or shopping for baby items, then protect the rest of your time for relationship activities and rest. Remember that your relationship is the foundation your family will be built on, making it just as important as buying the right car seat or decorating the nursery.
Q: Should we still do these things if the pregnancy is high-risk or we’re on bed rest?
A: Absolutely, though you’ll need to modify activities to accommodate medical restrictions. If travel isn’t possible, create special experiences at home. If physical activity is limited, focus on emotional connection through conversation, watching movies together, and planning for the future. Many of the most important preparations—like deepening communication and building your emotional bond—don’t require physical activity at all.
Q: How do we know if we’re truly ready to have a baby?
A: There’s no perfect time or absolute readiness for having a baby. These activities aren’t about checking boxes to prove you’re ready but about strengthening your relationship and preparing emotionally for the changes ahead. Even after doing everything on this list, you’ll still face surprises and challenges as new parents. The goal is to enter parenthood as connected, prepared, and rested as possible while understanding that no amount of preparation fully prepares you for the reality of having a child.
References
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